Squeamish look away

We are having a Chang in a restaurant that we came to 15 years ago where we have funny memories.

Last time we were here, Alison, the experienced traveller, had told me, the kid from Wolverhampton, that in Asia people don’t use toilet roll. They simply washed their derrière with soap. Back then all the toilets were squats, like in french campsites, and, as now, had accompanying water hoses.

After two weeks in Vietnam I felt like a bona-fide traveller and pleased with myself that I could adapt and fit into other cultures. Back in Bangkok we entered the restaurant that we are now sat in and feeling the call of nature I got the soap dish out of the bag and headed into the facilities. The toilet was very small and chaos ensued. After using the facilities I managed to completely soak myself and my suitably coloured beige shorts using the particularly high pressured hose. I left looking like I’d poured 5 litres of water down myself.

My caring wife and a few other restaurant patrons were in hysterics. This was the moment she told me toilet roll was not just for blowing your nose in Asia.

Here is the loo now. The squat has had an upgrade.


She also told me all rain in Asia is only vertical. I’ve never trusted her since.

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